Can you feel the excitement in the air? Is it as palpable as the fear, the anxiety that of which follows thoughts of complete failure and loss of control.
I woke up in the middle of night not but a few nights ago. I was completely drenched in sweat. I'm not sure I had a nightmare or anything but then again you don't always remember every dream or nightmare that you have. Now that I look back on it... what if it was a panic attack? Most people would describe themselves as "cool" and "laid back." So, of course, I am too. Right? I'm not so sure. I think what woke me up in the middle of the night was an anxiety attack that wouldn't subside. Well at least I can adapt to any situation and this situation in particular calls for a little bit of a radical change. I have to get this entire wedding kicked off within.... :80 days (roughly)... Oh yeah I guess I haven't really written too much about that. We are planning on August 21st, 2010 for the day we bring our two families together. A day that seems to have been in the works since we were children. My best friend, soul mate, my every dream culminated into the most gorgeous woman I will ever lay eyes on, will be my wife on that day. So begins.... the planning.

The church, the reception hall, the invitations, the registries, the cake, the flowers, the colors, the music, the pictures, the tables, the chairs, the table decorations, the food, the drink, the alcohol, the groomsmen, the bridesmaids, the rings, did I say food?... the engagement party, the food for that, the invitations, the games, the drinks.

We are pregnant. So I don't really want her stressing out about these details. She would rather just run to the courthouse with me anyway being the awesome woman that she is. I just want to put the effort forth to prove that no task is too much when it comes to her. I want both families to get the chance to feel involved. And besides, I guess I really just want to memories.

School is going great... so maintaining at least a B average shouldn't prove too difficult. We start clinical rotations this week.

Work... is.... work. I can't even get a raise to the level of nursing student care partner yet RN's I work with need me to teach them how to do things. I'm just blessed to have work right now. I'm glad I get benefits for only 20 hr/wk even if I never use them..... well I gotta get back to it.

Mom needs her window A/C installed before she and Michelle boil alive in this heat.

I wish I had my grandfather here for some words of encouragement.